Dr Prabhu Dev
5 min readMay 21, 2023

Change and growth is so painful. But it’s so necessary for us to evolve!

I have evolved over time!

It’s funny! A hello is always accompanied with a goodbye! It’s funny how good memories can make you cry. It’s funny how forever- never seems to last. It’s funny how friends can just leave when you’re down. It’s funny how when you need someone they never are around. It’s funny how people change and are so much better for that. It’s funny how so many lies are packed into one love letter. It’s funny how one night can hold so much regret. It’s funny how you can forgive but not forget. It’s funny how ironic life turns out to be.

Don’t walk behind me- I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me- I may not follow. Just walk besides me and be my friend!

You cannot evolve unless you are willing to change. No apologies for what I have been! Life can be understood only backwards but has to be lived forwards. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. In my quieter moments I think about how far I have come, or how far I have to go, my strengths and my weaknesses and what might happen. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. I believe you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Saying someone is ugly doesn’t make you pretty. People are more of what they hide than what they show.

I have learnt to be Tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak because I am strong. It doesn’t hurt to smile or be kind or to extend a helping hand.

Let your grasp be higher than your reach. Aim high with feet on the ground. If I were to propose a way of looking at the world I would single out an ethos of symbiosis that favors harmony over opposition, unity over division, we over I. Don’t waste your pain; don’t waste your time, Use it to help others.

Did you know the formula for happiness is reality divided by expectations? Suffer, learn, and grow!

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it. As the cliché’ goes, hope for the best, worst. Be prepared for the worst! Smile as often as possible. When you don’t even feel like it. Just do it all the time. It will eventually rub off. Realize that it’s okay to make mistakes. Just make sure to learn from your past mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

If you learn to enjoy pain there is no suffering!

You cannot forgive others for your mistakes! Suffering is part of life, a very important part. How can I learn if I don’t suffer? But I stay calm when I suffer. I try to make suffering meaningful; I try to understand suffering deeply. No resistance. I am not depressed or agitated. I have been bruised and battered, bent and broken, but into a better shape. The fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.

To Day be better than yesterday!

The possibilities for miscommunication are endless, leading to conflicts. I am right and you are wrong — The big fat EGO! One of the first things to do is to draw up a contract of fair fighting — a list of ground rules, so to speak. At base, this contract must provide for an attitude of mutual respect, a commitment to active listening to others, a clear focus on the participants’ interdependence and mutual interests. Depending on the situation develop a — no blaming, and no personalizing of issues- speak for yourself, not for others to resolve the conflict.

I always looked at money as something I need — Like it’s one solution to all my problems. But I was miserably wrong. Money is important, but not the most important, because it is tangible. It is good to have money and the things that it can buy, but it’s good too, to check up once in a while and make sure you haven’t lost out on the things money can’t buy.

When you have Money with you, you forget who you are! When you do not have money, others forget who you are! Money makes us feel that we’re better and more important than we really are. It has power to bring people together and also tear them apart. You can’t escape money — the more you chase the more you get it! The more you get the more you want! Money is rightly said- is an Aphrodisiac! There seems to be a statistical connect between money and happiness. The very notion of ultimate wealth is fallacious and misconceived.

· When you are battling poverty, money is the ultimate wealth.

· When you are sick, immunity and health is the ultimate wealth.

· If you are lonely, love is the wealth you need.

The first duty of love is to listen. I read this today and am struck by the simplicity.Money — the more you spend less it gets. Love the more you give more you get!

I have Stopped Pleasing others- It is not worth it! I have suffered a lot. Some things happen because they are beyond our control while other things happen because we let them. Going too far to please others can emotionally deplete you. It can stress you and make you vulnerable. People with toxic mindsets are like energy vampires.

Take a look at your own life. How would you describe it? Contented, Rushed, Exciting, Stressful, moving forward, holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times. The purpose of life is not merely to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate and to make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

I am among the imperfect, but I try and lead a more engaged life today. There is always someone better off than me, and there is always someone worse off. I have realized that Relationships are like birds, if you hold tightly they die, If you hold loosely, they fly. If you hold with care they remain with you forever! I urge you to learn to say NO to what you don’t like, what you don’t enjoy, be it friends, or relatives or life situations! You are not the most important person to anyone except you!

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. One should not think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you are going to retire. Life after death — I don’t know! Heaven or hell- I don’t know.

Dr Prabhu Dev

Former director of Sri Jayadeva Institute of Cardiology, Former VC of Bangalore University and former chairman of the Karnataka State Health Commission